Authentic is Transparent

Anxiety: A mental health disorder characterized by feelings of worry, anxiety, or fear that are strong enough to interfere with one's daily activities.

Panic Attack: Sudden episode of intense fear or anxiety and physical symptoms, based on a perceived threat rather than imminent danger.

The Very first time I had a KNOWN panic attack was June 2019 right after my uncle died of unknown reasons (the story is heart related). I was having intense chest pain and couldn’t figure out why or what from. I had every test done and everything came back HEALTHY!

I was in my truck and began crying uncontrollably, body shaking intensely and my stomach was HOT! I DIDNT KNOW WHY! I just didn’t want to die. I cried for maybe 10 mins before I could fully breathe again.


i just figured that was my grieving process. And I kept it moving.


Fast Forward April 2020 in the midst of quarantine BOOM another one. Intense crying, hot and sweaty and frustrated because I know I’m ok and healthy but MY MIND created it’s own story.

It becomes frustrating at this point remember the experience from June and having it RANDOMLY again 10 months later.


When quarantine was lifting and they announced we could start working again on May 15 ANOTHER ONE and then the worst of them all; July 31, 2020 awoken out my sleep at 3 am in a pool of sweat, heart beating uncontrollably, pacing the floor and then until 6:30 that evening feeling after effects (weakened limbs and lethargy)...


Panic attacks and anxiety hangovers attacking and defeating my ENTIRE BODY! Like literally my mind controls my body and that’s WHY...


WHY I constantly need and cry out for God to STEP IN!

Allowing God to step in to take care of me and my mind gets me peace, restful sleep, comfort, strong limbs, open heart and a creative mind.


I get to have what some would call “regular days”

This is an almost daily thing and the way(s) I combat the pressure of my wayward rabbit hole thinking is thru meditation and affirmations, Salt soak Baths (RIP TO MY WATER BILL), and through it all focusing on God and all things positive.

Oh yea, I have a dope therapist too and she listens effectively and questions appropriately.

I’m not ashamed to share this part of my life with you in hopes that YOU or someone you know can feel okay knowing that they aren’t alone in the fight.

Questions to ask: (I learned this)

What triggers these thoughts and feelings?

What are the root of said triggers?

What thoughts combat against the triggers?

Who can I be vulnerable enough with to share these feelings, episodes and/or triggers?


In my quest to becoming a Mental Health Professional (God willing) I believe it is important that I share my vulnerabilities to show that along with being an awesome mom, follower of God, Healer, Teacher and Entrepreneur IM ALSO A FLAWED HUMAN.


THIS ISN'T FOR SYMPATHY!


We all have our thing, nothing to be ashamed of.


If you find yourself in this fight with seemingly no way out; message me I have some great affirmations, bible plans and therapist that you can utilize to heal.

dai.

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© 2020 by gorgeous khaos